


Quotes

by Band Time (Anxiety_Induced_Writing)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Band Quotes, Probably offensive, im sorry, its weird
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:41:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22679644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxiety_Induced_Writing/pseuds/Band%20Time
Summary: Quotes I have heard in categories





	1. Marching Band 2018-2019

"How come all of y'all talk about drugs so much"

"Look the leaf looks like a dick"

"Yeet it out of your mouth hole"

*Phone rings* "... Satans calling"

"First F bomb if the season and band camp hasn't even started yet"

"I forgot how to count to ten"

"I'm kin with an animated knife"  
"mood"  
"and the school maskot"

"You look drunk"

"We are taking the BDSM test in the middle of camp, ____"

"You cant leave pit alone in the band room"  
"I thought you said you said you can't lick pit"

"Your going to have grandma Breast when you grow up"  
"I'm not going to have breast when I grow up"  
.  
"I said bee movie and it fell!"

"Ignore the phone in the hall, we're ghost hunting"

Just an oooooohhh from the office

"Yeah gay is a personality, you like other people's personality s so gay is a personality"

"Does my ass offend you?"

"No sacrificing children. I can't believe this is a conversation we have to have"  
"We're percussion!"

"We need to make a mallet asmr"

"Lick it"  
"It's taste like shoe"

"It's an avacodo"  
A chorus of thanks

"I'm a $5 buffet, endless but not that good"

"They are watching a boob get pumped full of air"

"It sounds like Jurassic Park"  
"The dinosaurs are coming"

"Ipts just horrible enough to be good,"

"I'm a virgin because I don't loose anything"

"It's just a guy and three girls in a dark closet, doing normal things.

"Play your brass off"

"PLEASE DONT PEE ON THE FLOOR"

"we had a groove"  
"YOU THREW OFF MY GROOVE"

"I burn like a chicken, and I get whiter"

"There was a bomb threat at Walmart"

*Cheers for the repair men after they fix the air conditioning*

"Don't do drugs"  
"You'll end up like ___"

"Ya gotta raise a children's"

"Do we need someone to follow you and keep their hands on you?"

"I'm not really good at science so I don't really know what a square is"

F ff fff  
A aa aaa

"Look at all those shoulder snakes"

"Why Mr.Elf Man?"

"Don't look at me in tat tone of voice"

"I will help you with the clicks from God"

"Present thy butthole"

"I don't negotiate with terrorist."

"To understand the valley, you must be the valley"

"Wait let me understand life for a second"

"Go Mr.Slidey Man!"

"A bus!"  
"A bus."  
"A bus."

"___You have a sister!"  
"Mommy, that's a boy"

"I wanna join the corgi orgy!"

"Wait, your gay?!?!?"

"Boi you stole my seat"  
"It's my manafest destiny"

"I thought the numbers on the knobs on toasters were degree of toastiness indicators" -my band director

"Remind me to take my medicine home, I'll die"  
"Don't take your medicine"

"It's a little chilly out and I forgot my bowl"

"I won't dance at the dance because if I did it would be so white that it would change our school colours from black and gold to black and white."

"I said her hair looked nice and she started sobbing"

"I take a long time to empty my pp"

"He be dead right now"

"I want to have an intimate bath with a toaster plugged in"

"I just tentacle slapped Karli"


	2. 2018-2019 Concert Band

Are you having a finger stupid?

That's it you're going to hell  
I already am in it out don't have to tell me

Instead of being- oh wait I can't cuss.. Instead of being Alex

Big Daddy will execute you from this place

Picca-hello!

"Fight clubs are illegal??!!"

I'm loud on my instrument because people need to hear my greatness.

Does my gayness hurt you. I swear to God I will wrap it around you.

Are your chest Bois okay

Are you methicated

I don't think Bruno Mars cares if you tongue that so hard.

Why are you punching my man boobs.

Can I commit sodoku

Well, it's Reid

Glitter is the herpes of the art world

I got thicc thighs deal with it

"The band should go to Superfly after band camp"

We survived band camp, now we're gonna die

Mexican beats Asian, first time in history. 

These are my balls, you can't have my balls.

Ma'am, ma'am, spare coochie ma'am.

You can't smell my balls

Suck my Sax

Tomorrow I believe in god

Um I think I have a problem  
You have lots of problems

There's no tie there!  
Yes there is, you just can't see it

I'm not low brass, I'm high brass

I'm quivering in my boots

We're not gonna get anything done today, I got distracted by smallpox 

Can I call you Mommy

Can't end what's already been ended

At least I have one purpose

Turtles don't walk they crawl  
Well with your stubby little legs neither do you

I just found out my aunt's a lesbian so hold on!


	3. Dnd 2018-2019

"I'm about to kick your candy ass"

"An open, moist land stand before you."  
"mOiSt???"  
*Silence*

"You want me to wack the rats with the stick?"

"Uh ma'am, you look like a deflated unicorn

I do not have fruit but I do have holyness

"There was a chance I was gonna see naked men and I'm just not about that life"  
"Aren't Jedi supposed to have restraint?"  
"No I just don't like naked men."

"Swooshy swoosh swoosh"

I will push you back with my hand feet


	4. 2019-2020 Marching Band

"ITS GROUPON!!!"

"If I hollowed out your skull, you'd make a great cupholder."

Why is it so cold?  
Because God hates you

She's calling him aggressive tonguing

Answer the phone you bearded whore

Alex, I'm scared of you

You small brain Asian live up to your legacy

Shirtless breaking and entering sounds so it much better

Did you actually take a dump in your uniform bag or did you not hang it up

Your momma dated my brother

You do this and it goes EEEE

You were within crusading distance

If you pass out, I'll make sure you don't wake up

Hes got a pole up his butt

You put it in the hole and wiggle it till it feels good

You look like a stay at home mom

The voice of god!

Pledge to Lola

You look unusually happy  
I'm good at acting

I'm a trustworthy person??  
I'd like to see a universe wherre that happens

Don't squeal about brain eggs

I've been known to hug faces

My mom will sue you.

We are not sucking at burlesque

I'm sorry *with hand guesture*

Its duh duh duh stupid

Shes a bistcuit and I'm a waffle

I don't even try

CJ, that's sexxy 

Shes really ashy needs some moisturizer (talking about the dead mom that's cremated)

Do you want to be a chewed up tampon or a good tampon

Is it relevant?  
I don't know what that means

You are the comparison because everyone knows who you are and what you do

I love soccer!!  
It's badminton (at a football game)

Do you know where my pants are???

Do they have sex in the Sonic parking lot

"If you're gonna act like the expedition band when competing then dont"

They have such a high ego it's like a band of Trumpets

I'm going to chop a kids head off

Our monkeys, your circus


	5. 2019-2020 Concert Band

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gods quarantine fucked this up huh

I take this medicine for a condition I have that-  
Then don't have the condition

I shall lead you to the promised land

You have the opportunity to help me, you should be thrilled

I'm missing a pad!!

Reasons why I scream number 8,272

If I mess up do I stop playing or keep going

Do I give off Butch energy?  
You give off bitch energy. 

I support hoes

I have satisfied my fatherly urge.

How much Jesus do they need

I will kill you. I probably shouldn't say that into the mic. 

ITS SEXUAL  
That should not be yelled in my office

Whats a hedgehog?  
My life

Hey trumpets, the lord blessed that and said this is unholy

God i have never wished for kids to have sex more

You sound like a doo doo drain

You sound like some sort of demented birds on crack

Your Spanish name is dumb dumb mcdumberson

Its not a layer cake its an onion  
What???  
Shes not wrong. Everytime we add a layer I cry more

Hey babe? 5 o'clock you better have a margarita ready because im going to need it

He showed me a photo of Hitler!  
You mean my dad???

Ooga booga big drum low


End file.
